Top Ten Most Common Questions I ask Myself in Ghana

A list of common questions that pop into my head since arriving in Ghana:

1) How many fried plantains can I eat per day before I can no longer fit into my clothes?

2) Where am I?

3) How many times can I ask this person to repeat themselves before they find me both annoying and offensive? "What station did you say I get off at? I'm sorry what? Sorry, I didn't quite catch... what? One more time... Oh! okay! *pause* No actually I just pretended to hear you that time, what did you say? Slowly now."

4) Yes that dress is beautiful, but will I wear it at home? And if so, will people suggest I return to Ghana immediately?

5) Is this person laughing AT me or WITH me?

6) Will this rather forward man believe me if I say I don't own a cell phone, I don't have access to email and I've never heard of Facebook? Not if my cell phone, lodged snuggly in my laptop case, rings in the middle of delivering this excuse.

7) Why do people prefer to describe a location or address by referring to a nearby landmark (or often a not-so-nearby landmark) when most streets here do in fact have names?

8) Is carrying things on your head better for your body than carrying things over your shoulder or on your back?

9) Was my mother wrong all along in telling me not to eat with my hands? Ghana: 1, Caroline's Worldly Mothering Skills: 0.

10) Should I eat that? I really want to. Okay, small bites.

10.5) Why did I eat that?